So it’s been a while I’ve been at thread, but wanted to make an update that I’m onto the mountain trail scene and that in due time, I’ll be at the Omen fight scene. On the estimated guess, I should be done with Chapter Four right after the holidays, so you all will have to be patient.
Update: I’m nearly done with the mountain trail and about to enter the Omen scene in due time. What can y’all expect from the upcoming scene? I’m open to any suggestions and what not. Wow, can’t believe it’s been quiet here.
“That’s a lie,” said Carrie. “Jago would never join you or your master.”
“Is that so? Then why do you think Jago did not want to tell you about himself, as well as leaving his Order in the first place? It’s because he’s too ashamed of the things he had done. It was such a shame, really. Jago could have been a proud warrior for Gargos, but he was too weak…too afraid to embrace the darkness. That is why he expelled me from his body. However, during that time, I began to have emotions for the first time. It felt like a drug that I could not resist. I hope to gain a vessel to feel those emotions again…to shed this form you see before me.”
“You plan to take Jago’s body so that you can become whole?” said Carrie.
“Yes and no. I was considering that once my master takes over this world, I would possess Jago again, take his body and cast his soul into the abyss, but then, I hear about you and the potential you harbor.”
Carrie did not take long to figure out what Omen had in mind as she slowly stepped away. “You…you want me.”
Omen chuckled evilly and said, “Smart girl. Jago may have done some terrible things in my master’s name, but you…what you did…you portrayed it like a work of art. Even you have to admit that they deserved it.”
“You’re wrong! They never deserved what I did to them. Chris, maybe…but everyone else…I never wanted their deaths!” said Carrie.
“You mean the same ones that bullied you…tortured you…even wanted you dead?” said Omen. “Even your own mother tried to kill you, all because of how you were born, which is more reason for me to believe that you would make a good…no…a powerful vessel.”
“I refuse to become a host to a demon, for I am a child of God. The last thing I need is committing more sins.”
“Have you forgotten? You have already been forsaken when Prom happened,” said Omen as he moved to attack, but Carrie used her powers to shove Omen and ran away. The demon recovered quickly as he took flight to go after Carrie, knowing that he craved for a potential host that proved to be a challenge.
Update: Almost done with Chapter Four; just have to close the gap on the fight scene. Tell me, do you guys want the fight scene to be epic?
Whatever you want! I believe in your writing skills. It will be epic either way.
Yea be it epic due to how intense the fight is physically speaking, or due to emotional charge, I think it should, and likely will, be!
Keep in mind, guys, that this will be my first time writing a fight scene, so I’ll try to make it as good as possible.
Edit: already got the second round of the fight finished (did it last night). Just got to put in the first round.
I just finished the fight scene, and therefore Chapter Four, and in time before the New Year arrived. Are you all ready to witness magic?
I need to know how to right good fight scenes too.
So thanks for tagging me
No problem. Let me double check on everything and I’ll post it on Fanfiction.Net. May take a while for the second part of the chapter to be fully seen because I separated it into two parts, considering this is the biggest chapter I have written.
Cool beans. I’ll be waiting patiently
All right, everyone, I think I kept you all waiting long enough, so here is Chapter Four, PT2. Just ignore the whole chapter five thing; that I will do after New Year’s
Ah just seeing this, will let you know when I finish reading it!
So I just started working on Chapter Five, and wow…I’m doing better than I did at Chapter Four. I’m not going to post Chapter Five (even when I get finished with it) because I need Chapter Four PT2 to breathe. Don’t worry though I will post it when the time is right. Until then, here is a taste of what’s to come:
“My name is Phillip Jones. My friends and I were attacked by a monster in King’s Memorial Park.” He sobbed until he composed himself. “If anyone finds this tape…” Then, Phillip heard a twig snap as he peeked behind the tree to see what it was until the woman appeared behind him with her teeth bared. After that, Phillip’s scream echoed through the night.
“In that case, maybe you can help us. We want to know who this woman is or if it’s even a ghost,” said George while he took out his phone, uploaded the video, and gave it to Sariel.
Sariel looked at the video as it got to the part showing the woman appearing before her victims. “There’s no doubt in my mind that this is a ghost, but this is no average ghost. What you are seeing in this video is an Onryō.”
“You mean the kind that you see in The Ring or The Grudge?” asked George as Sariel nodded.
“So, what is an Onryō?” asked Sue.
“An Onryō is a Japanese spirit that has been pulled from its resting place to take revenge on the living, especially those that had wronged it when that person was alive at the time. Where I came from before I moved to the States, the Onryō brought fear into the hearts of people,” said Sariel.
“It’s time like this I’m glad Carrie is not an Onryō,” uttered George.
“This is the reason I’m curious about the situation. It is rare for an Onryō to protect the grave of someone it does not know,” said Sariel. “I’m sure it has a reason.”
“Are you sure you want to go through this, Sue? It’s not too late to turn back,” said George.
“We’re already at the point of no return,” said Sue. “Onryō or not, I still want to thank her.”
“That’s what I’m worried about,” said George.
Finished chapter four earlier, I think you did pretty good with the fight scene! I could visualize it pretty well. Like I could tell what parts were special moves, combo breakers, counter breakers, etc. So good job!!
Thanks! Really appreciate it!
Just read it! I imagined a real KI battle going on in my head too! Nice Job!
Really appreciate it! I had to find inspiration from watching the Jago vs Omen MU from YouTube.
What else did you like in the story, apart from the battle?
Congratulations! How detailed was this guy’s review?
Simple, but complemented in a positive reaction. I think it’s because of the fight scene I did