“… so after I chewed it off I hiked 20 miles through the snow and down the mountain…”
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Aw, man…I just thought of this…it’s too bad that they didn’t take your whole leg (relatively speaking, of course) because if you could have got your femur out and you were able to keep the bone you could have fashioned a kangling out of it and then learned how to play along with Spinal’s theme.
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Whenever someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do just stare off into the middle distance and say:
“I haven’t been able to do that since… the accident.”
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So, semi-daily updates.
Yesterday was hard. For the first time since the surgery we changed the dressing, and I found out that my doctor was not prepared for my sense of humor. Doc comes in, asks “Well, Mr. Pratt, how are you feeling today?” to which o respond “if I’m being honest, Doc, it feels a lot like someone cut my leg off,” to which he had to leave the room to maintain his composure. That was the good part.
The not good part was finding out that I fall into the 20% of people that are resistant to the epidural drugs. They’ve been trying to keep my leg completely numb, to little success (until late yesterday). The preceding night I was told that anesthesiologists are not on staff from 8PM to 6AM, so I thought I was screwed when around 10PM feeling came back in full force. I thought I had experienced pain before… Whooie, was I ever wrong. Those were the longest 10 hours of my life, around 5AM I guess I was no longer able to control myself and just started screaming until I passed out… Then the anesthesiology team arrived, irked that I had been mislead, and they redid my epidural with more of a stronger chemical, and it worked for a bit… Until we had to change the dressing. The removal of pressure from the stump was overwhelming, and from what I am told I underwent another bout of shrieking like a demon until I lost consciousness. Yesterday sucked.
They ended up not applying the rigid dressing (which is sorta like a cap meant to help shape the stump as it heals), so we do that today. At least we know to go hard on the numbing juice now, which is a lot like paralysis juice. 
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It’s good to know you’re keeping in good spirits about it.
Hey, next time he asks you how you’re feeling should say, “well I would say I’m feel like I could run a marathon, but I don’t really have a leg to stand on.”
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OMG That’s brilliant. That will be today’s episode of “Make Doc Chuckle”. I like making him laugh because otherwise he is the grimmest dude I have ever met, even when he’s got good news…
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I feel your doc’s the type to walk in and say…
Doc: "I’ve got good news."
You: "You found a chemical combination that will actually numb this stump?"
Doc: “No… I saved 15% on my car insurance switching to Geico!”
He promptly exists.
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Sounds like you could use some reading material to help pass the time:
In all seriousness, sorry to hear the pain’s been tough (but I mean really, who could expect anything else?) but it seems as though you’re being taken care of, and you seem in relatively good spirits.
Here’s hoping the recovery is swift, and just remember to take things one step at a time from now on…
…technically, you don’t have much choice in that!
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No matter what you are going through, just remember, you are one step closer to becoming Darth Vader. 
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Eesh, I just wanted to say, I hope the pain subsides soon and you’ll be well on your way to restful sleep and comfort, I don’t have any jokes right now but I stole this off google image search for some kitty therapy:-
Hope it eases soon. 
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That’s a mighty cute kitty!
It is worth mentioning that today the pain is much better, and last night I slept a full 8hrs. PT/OT came by earlier to walk me thru some exercises and see if I can get up yet - good news, w the help of a walker (for now) I made it a few feet to a chair, and am presently sitting upright, out of the bed. Progress, progress.
OMG @xSkeletalx, I can’t wait to have that printed and framed! Such beautiful, moving modern portraiture!
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Did you ever get the “Happy Foot” shirt?
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Damn dude…I cringed the whole time reading that… Im so sorry man. Ughhh… thats some scary sheet right there! Hang in there!
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Yes! But they sent us a toddler sized shirt, so my niece wears it. I heard my wife and sister talking about a silkscreener yesterday, so I’m hoping I figured out the hush-hush surprise!
@FallofSeraphs76 Hangin’ in there is all I really can do! Today is A LOT better than all days preceding it, to be sure, and I can only assume they’ll continue to improve until I can walk my doggo and practice LaCrosse stick/ball control w the boy.
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Either you updated your last post after I did my last one, or I completely glossed over the not so good part. Dang man, that sounds rough. I’m really glad you’re keeping in good spirits about it. I can’t imagine the pain of that. The worst I ever had was having a needle stuck in my kidney (kidney stone complications…it was the size of a shooter marble and they were going to remove it through my back, and it had a membrane around it, so they left it because the other option would have been cutting part of my kidney off), and I wasn’t as knocked out for it as they thought I was so I felt everything.
But to reiterate what I said earlier, I’m glad you’re keeping in good spirits about everything. I hope the dressing goes well for you. 
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My wife, who is very small (5’0 120lbs) is similarly resistant to anesthesia. Because of her size they never want to give her much and they get all jumpy about it but she can still feel everything. It’s… inconvenient.
Anyway, sorry to hear you had a bad day. You should probably just walk it off.
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Oh i feel bad for the doctor 
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“Yo, I was an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow in the knee. Well, actually it was a ■■■■■■■ bazooka damn it!”
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@MDMMORNING @BigBadAndy @Dayv0 @TheNinjaOstrich
Or something similar to this story LOL
"I want to go home Johnny. I want to go home! …I cant find your leg!"
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