At Least I Have Hands: a thread for therapy and amputee jokes

I’d like to preface this by acknowledging that as of late I’ve been a bit more confrontational than usual, and it has been unwarranted. For those of you whom have been on the recieving end of my bad attitude, I apologize sincerely. This is not meant as a justification of any sort, and is mostly unrelated. I just wanted to get that out there. I am sorry if I’ve gone hard on you (you’ll know who you are).

I am relatively new to this game and community. I have only been following along since the Aganos reveal, spectated during S2, and started playing w the launch of S3 for PC (I joined the forums around this time, to jumpstart my knowledge base). That’s not terribly important, but worth mentioning mostly because of the timing.

In February of this year, I woke up one morning to my left foot feeling “asleep”. This wouldn’t be remarkable, had my left foot ever “woke up”. I went to various ER’s, and tried to see several doctors, to no avail due to the quality of my health insurance - no local healthcare practitioners accepted it, many had never even heard of it. The emergency care centers I went to told me it was just tendonitis, advised me to ice and elevate it, and sent me on my way.
A co-worker recommended me to his podiatrist, whom I saw for a while (before claims being retroactively denied by my insurance). The podiatrist thought it was perhaps a neuroma, or a swollen nerve, and we treated it as such. Gradually, the sleepy numbness developed into more and more complex pain. I began to develop a limp which worsened consistently as time went on. Throughout, I continued to work full-time as a mechanic, sort of losing productivity day by day. Each endeavor got more difficult, took more time - I felt like I was violating the trust of my clientele I had worked so hard over the last few years to build.
By May the shop owner had begun to ask me if I needed time off, and my wife had begun to plead with me to take time off. Bullheaded oaf I am, I politely refused them both, unwilling to cease being the core provider for my family, no matter how temporary. If I couldn’t get medical assistance, if I couldn’t get answers, I couldn’t let myself stop working. So I kept limping around and under vehicles on cold concrete 10 hours a day, 5 (sometimes 6) days a week. The complex pain grew more intense, the limp got worse, my pace became incredibly sluggish, and I trucked on in spite of myself throughout the summer.
Flash forward to August - the mysterious nerve pain and limp had become so bad it would take me a full minute or more to walk mere meters from one end of the shop to the other. I couldn’t make it or down stairs without scooting on my bottom. My left foot was perpetually beet red and cold to the touch, as if I had been barefoot in snow. My boss and wife mutually decided that for my health I couldn’t continue to work in such condition, and had to take the time off, if for nothing else to have more time to try and find some medical practitioner in the area to look at me and solve the problem. So I took a medical leave, and spent much of my newfound time doing just that, ultimately to no avail. I thought to cancel my insurance and sign up for different insurance, but the interim time just seemed wasteful, and so I didn’t - in retrospect, perhaps I should have done that much sooner.
Again, fast forward to the morning before Thanksgiving. More time than planned had passed w/o working, my condition slowly but steadily worsening as it has all year. At this point I couldn’t support my admittedly slight weight (140lbs) on my left leg at all anymore - my primary method of locomotion had gone from limping to “strategic careening”. I awoke that morning to find both feet incredibly swollen from about the ankle. This was new and alarming, as up until now swelling had not presented itself as a symptom, nor was there any trauma which would have explained the swelling. My feet were just super swollen, for no discernible reason. Stubbornly (read: stupidly) not wanting to spoil the holiday for my family, I crammed my feet into socks, put on long pants, and hid the swelling until after Thanksgiving passed.
That Friday I 'fessed up to my wife, and she rushed me to the ER again. After nine hours tucked in a room on an IV drip and a few varied tests, I was transferred via ambulance to another hospital where I was told they would be better equipped to make a diagnosis. Not long after arriving at the second hospital, I was told that I had extensive arterial occlusion (pretty much clotting) in my femoral and others, but the occlusion was so great that they didn’t think they were equipped to help, and so again I was transferred via ambulance to a third hospital, where I was told resided some of the finest vascular surgeons in the state of Michigan. This was to be my first experience with surgery.
That very night I underwent a thrombectomy, wherein they cut into me and cleared out a large amount of the occlusion - I was told my femoral was almost completely blocked off from my abdomen just under my ribs to my left knee. The doctors likened me to a case from the television series “House” because they found me “medically interesting” - I guess this would be normal if I were in my late eighties, but I had just turned 26 in October. After a week of recovery from the thrombectomy, they attempted a femoral bypass, wherein they essentially take veins out of my right leg, and rig them to run blood around the still occluded part of my femoral, to circumvent that whole section and restore blood flow to my lower left leg. Unfortunately, upon harvesting the veins from my right leg, they realized that they too showed signs of clotting and would not suffice. The head surgeon didn’t feel comfortable improvising with plastic tubing on the spot, and so they just stapled me back together before waking me from the anasthesia, the bypass a failure.
Now they tell me I have two options once I recover from these surgeries: we can go through with another bypass, this time with plastic, but due to the durability of the materials I will have to return to have the bypass replaced every 2-3 years for the rest of my life OR we can go ahead with amputation while they can still save the knee. They tell me I’m young and fit enough that recovery should only take a little over month or so, and that modern prosthetics are just incredible. So that’s the route I’ll be taking - losing a bit of a limb to gain the rest of my life back.

Now, I know, you’re thinking “gee, that’s a bummer, why did you tell us that and why did I read all of that? this guy must be looking for pity” - and I must assure you that is not the case.

Throughout this whole ordeal, it’s been KI (the game, and the forums) that have helped me occupy my mind in times when it felt like all I had was pain to focus on. You gave me complex problems to solve and become engaged with in something I am passionate about. You showed me how truly great a fighting game can be when developed by longtime passionate competitors of the genre. You have been my surrogate social life when my friends quit coming 'round, when I could no longer get out and about. This game, these forums have become a huge source of support for me, and I am thankful and appreciative of all you for it. I know few of you would consider me a friend, but I consider many of you friends, and I am thankful to have you all in my life.

Sometimes I get a little overly-aggressive, a bit too confrontational, but this is because I maybe value this game and community a bit too much, and when I see something I percieve as a threat (especially flippant misinformation) I get this guard-dog-esque sense of protectivity. I understand that’s not a great position to take, and it drives some away from me rather than drawing them in. I’ll work on that - I should be working to show you all that I appreciate you for all that you’ve done for me, as little as it may seem.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this, for being involved and passionate, for helping me refrain from pitying myself at my lowest, and for always challenging me to improve, in one way or another. I’ve got a long road ahead of me yet, and I can only hope you’re here in the same ways you have been all this time.

Please don’t take pity on me. That’s not what this is about.

Just know that I appreciate each and every one of you.

(not sure if I should tag specific individuals who have incredibly influential or not, so I’ll refrain)

—Mr. Morning


KI is that awesome :smiley:


It really, truly is. So is it’s community.


The KI community is like a family, always be there for one another, no matter how hard life can turn, and @MDMMORNING I hope you be well on the surgery. Will be sending prayers along the way


Thank you. I really appreciate it.

After reading such a story, i don’t know really anything i can say other than thank you for sharing, sir. Thank you.


Thank you for reading, and for being a part of this great community.

1 Like

I mean, i HAVE to know if this was just me? how much of this was my cause?

However much it is, doesnt matter though. Im happy to hear that you are willing to share this.

Video games, and OF COURSE the friends i have made while playing them, make up the greatest moments of my life. Moving from group to group, watching everyone age, helping each-other through everything, puberty, relationships, family troubles, kids, jobs, emotional breakdowns, and other troubles… has partly made me who i am today. Then, on the other hand, the good times with those people (who i am sad i may not meet again) have brought joy to my life BEYOND what you can program into a game. nothing can re-create the happiness that 2 or more people can make together over a simple virtual objective. Custom games in Halo 3, Trick-shots in Modern Warfare, 8+ people communicating to win in battle field, ect ect ect. And then, a few moments completely un-related to the games where we MADE OUR OWN fun and stayed up for hours just screwing around.

KI is so technical, that trying to discuss it while keeping EVERY mechanic in mind is like trying to make sense of a puzzle being washed down a black hole. I dont believe that balance will ever be solved in any fighting game. add a little salt in there, and you end up with a 1,000,000 word thread that leads to nothing at all. (By “salt” i mean ANY emotion at all. Happiness, anger, ego, troll-i-ness… ANY emotion at all will interfere negatively in most cases.)

But I am always willing to put technicalities aside for friendship. I dont give a F*CK what happens in this game, as long as 2 people can find a way to have fun in it.

My leg is fine, but my life is also spinning out of control. Iv’e been completely out of my mind for the last 2 days straight, and playing KI with a buddy has been the best source of happiness i’ve had. (offline. My gold ran out :frowning: )

I guess we cant really be friends on Xbox, since i have no Gold… but as long you are on these forums, and care about this game, you are a friend of mine. If you are correct in any situation, i hope the truth comes out in some way. If I am correct, i also hope the truth comes out in some way. But in most discussion, the truth never quite comes out clearly… and thats ok. The best we can do is give our opinions, and let the rest come in with time. (now that i think about it, its honestly not fair to try to “back” an opinion with more posts. It just takes attention away from other people’s opinion. so i will try to limit that from now on.)

If you have an account on these forums, you are my friend. That means any one reading this. No matter how different we are, if you want to play KI and have fun with me, im always ready! (when i have Xbox live gold :’( )


Hey, it’s great they’ll be able to go the prosthetic route. My father-in-law has one himself…about 4 years ago he had a tree limb fall on him and it crushed his left arm. But where it counts, he’s no less of a man for it. He’s got 2 different prosthetics for it now, one is a simple mechanical hook, and the other is a prototype with a robotic hand that at a glance looks and acts real.

But yeah, it sounds like a rather crappy situation, but it sounds like you’ll pull through, and after a brief adjustment you’ll be right back on that proverbial horse. I hope it all works out well in the end for you.

1 Like

When you get the amputation, look into mirror therapy. I hear it helps with phantom limb syndrome.


Not only that, but I’ve heard a lot of researchers have been working on using VR to do a more elaborate form of mirror therapy.

1 Like

This is some crazy sh**, which i have seen also. It literally heals paralysis like a miracle. I really want to learn about this when the research is finalized.

1 Like

ya man. people are just thin skinned nowa days. people are dismissive of truths and quick to assume you mean the most disrespect possible. I will say my dad had his right leg amputated above his knee and I hope that if worse comes to worst you can keep at least to mid calf muscle as any prosthetics higher than the knee suck.

ya I have other pretty crapy issues as well but ya know? life is beautiful. people love us and we are all stronger together. i believe we are stronger than what ever ailments inflict us and we tend to lose track of the things that really matter. whatever we are as species, the universe created the most tender yet brutal sides of us. with laws of physics so finely tuned, it’s amazing we exist at all, let alone the complexity of emotion and diversity. and yet this infinite place created all we care most about.


@WrathOfFulgore @ShellShock520 @GalacticGeek
I appreciate the time you guys took to read and respond. I’m glad to know you, whether or not we have differences now and again. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel, and a KI family to keep me from losing track of it.

I’ll definitely look into mirror and VR therapy. From what they tell me, I should expect obnoxious phantom pain based on the level of nerve death in the foot, but I can overcome anything my brain tries to throw at me. Like @ShellShock520 says, mankind has just come too far not to.

@MDMMORNING Very sorry to hear that you’re going through these issues - on the plus side it sounds as though the doctors know what they’re doing and that you have worked out a solid plan with them for going forward.

At the risk of sounding glib, if you look on the bright side at least you’ll have video games to help you through your recovery! I don’t know anyone who’s had to go through an amputation but I’ve heard and seen so many great things about prosthetic technology/medical procedures that it seems likely that you will be able to retain full (or nearly full) mobility and functionality once you get used to your new situation.

I’m sure there are plenty of people in the KI community who would love to play some games with you to help you relax during your recovery, so make sure to keep us updated here!

Wishing you the best, dood!


As I’m generally that guy in a group trying to liven things up with a little inappropriate humor…

Woohoo, more KI time! Add me up, I’d love to play against you when you have the time. Maybe we can both get a leg up on everyone else :smile:

Seriously though, good luck with your recovery man. Its a rough blow but I’m glad to see you’re taking it in stride and moving forward.


Definitely sad to hear about your situation. It must not have been an easy choice to make, since that type of permanence can be really unnerving. But still, I’m glad the game has been able to keep your mind off difficult times. When are you going through with the procedure?

1 Like

Get well, man. I hope your amputation doesn’t slow you down to keep on fighting for a good life.

And a side note, I personally don’t blame you for having a ‘protective instinct’ for KI, I too hate it when there’s a certain minority of dipshits who attempt to bash KI based on some of their flawed (or trolling) reasoning, but we need to remind ourselves that KI may not be perfect, its still fun as hell to play, and we need to reason with the people who have some problems really shouldn’t be making a major deal for them to ■■■■■ about and say “KI is dead” or whatever hateful garbage to provoke with.


I don’t have enough words to give you all my best wishes and strength. The situation sucks, but I’m sure you will overcome it: Your strong will, your family and friends are here to help you.

I would like to tell you something. I have a co-worker that, years ago, was hit by a car and lose one of his legs, just under the knee. He suffered this accident before I knew him. When I met him for the first time, I noticed he was using a cane, but I feel it was more support than actually “need”, because he could walk perfectly without it, and maybe it was only for long walks. Then, he told me all the story, and how he lost his leg. He has a perfectly normal life. He can walk for hours without problem, and if you don’t know about this, you will never tell he lost one leg. And you will get to this point. You will have a happy life, and this is not going to stop you.

You will overcome this, have no doubt. It’s a hard situation, but you have the two most important factors in your favor: you have support from people how cares about you, and you have the strong will to go through all this proccess.

Get well soon @MDMMORNING. We are here for you


Sad to hear about all of this, FWIW your attitude hasn’t been that bad in the other topic you’re talking about.
BTW, healthcare in the USA really is a shitshow.