How to handle a loss?

I can’t do it. I’m an angry person I get so mad, I rage, I cry, I hit myself. No matter what happens I always want to come out on top. I can’t handle a loss, it hurts my soul. It’s like everything you work so hard for just gets crushed by a random person.

Once they beat me they probably think they’re better than me in life. All the struggles in life and you play a freaking video game and look at what happens. It hurts my self esteem. I’m not eating right, I see my friends talk about match ups and none of it makes sense to me, I just sit and stare not even paying attention. I don’t understand the game. I just want to quit but I never quit, I haven’t felt this way until I picked up this game and started playing competitively. It sucks.

I know there is worse things in life but this game means so much to me, I can’t keep losing I need to win.

Do I need to reevaluate my character and start learning? Do I need anger management classes? I just don’t know.

The only thing I know is that I’m asking to be bullied with this thread. But it’s okay. I need to know

Calm down man… Not so sound cliche, but it’s just a game…you’re going to end up having a stroke or something if you keep it up.


To be honest I can relate, not so much to the rage part but I relate to the despair of loosing. I play a lot of KI, I think I’m pretty decent at it. I mean I leveled Eyedol up to 50 in less than a week, so I’ve got a firm grasp on the character and how he plays but then I go online and try to win some matches and I get bodied by every Tom, ■■■■ and Harry. Its incredibly discouraging at times.

I’ve spent the better part of three years trying to complete dojo lesson 32, its just not in me. My skill level just isn’t there, I can’t manual on command, I am incapable of memorizing everyone’s auto-double animation so I can break on reaction to them. Its just not in my skill set and yeah that sucks, I’ll never be at that competitive level but I’m okay with that. A lot of what is said on the forums just goes right over my head but I don’t let it get to me, I love the game and I’ll keep playing it for myself, regardless of how much of scrub some people might think I am.


It really just takes time and experience. Learn to accept your losses and try to learn from them.

If you lose to someone who is clearly worse than you and is disrespectful, remember that he is a random person you’ll likely never see again.

Honestly it doesn’t sound healthy for you to keep playing video games if that’s your mind set every time you lose.

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I know what go through, man. I’m the same way sometimes. I used to get so mad off of a dumb loss, I’d usually end up punching something until my knuckles bled.

My advice is to try to recognize when you feel like you could get that angry, and just take a break from the game. Do something out of your normal routine. Play a different game that you’re not a serious about. Just try to relax.

Play the game when you feel like you’re just wanting to have fun with it. You’ll perform a lot better with a level head. I know it’s not easy to walk away from a loss, but it’s really the best thing for me and it might be good for you.

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I can totally relate. If someone is a better player than me or I’m fighting with friends I can lose every single time and still be happy but it’s the games that I knew I could have won but just screwed up on that makes a loss so infuriating. But I’ll just play a different game afterwards to cool off or just go take a break.

I also have to tell myself that I’m playing this game FOR FUN. This isn’t my living nor is it detrimental to my life if I lose. I’m playing the game to have fun.

I used to be similar to this when it came to certain things, such as MK9’s challenge tower or Injustice STAR lab missions. I wouldn’t cry but I would throw controllers, punch walls, yell and curse etc. but I seem to have grown out of it.

My best advice would be changing your POV on playing matches. Don’t necessarily focus on winning, but focus on learning. So if you lose, try to think a bout why you lost, what tactics were used that you couldn’t get around and what can you do counter them, what is giving you the most trouble, are you panic mashing (bad habit of mine), etc.

Its easier said than done but I think if you are somebody who can do those things it might help a bit. I feel you though, it sucks when you put in all this time to get better only to lose and make it feel like it was pointless, I get it. Just try not to get too discouraged because remember, even the best players in the world don’t win every match they play, so none of us should expect to either.

What you’re talking about sounds like it’s a pretty serious issue you are dealing with. I pulled out this part because it seems like a lot of “raging” gamers get hung up on what the other guy thinks. I don’t know if it’s the problem or the symptom of another problem. But when you beat a guy at KI do you think you are better at life than him? Probably not. So he’s probably not thinking that about you.

I don’t want to overreact or make you feel bad, but you posted here asking for help, so I want to make sure you know people are taking it seriously. I think if this is impacting your life significantly you might think about taking a break from the game and maybe seeing someone about anger management or other therapy.

To be clear, we all get mad when we lose. That’s totally normal and expected. But if your anger is causing you problems and you feel like it’s messing up the rest of your life then, yes, I think you should do something about it. You shouldn’t be this miserable playing a game and you don’t have to be. I’m sure there are other options for you and someone will be able to help you sort them out. I know it’s not necessarily as simple as “just stop playing.” But I’m sure that there’s something you can do.

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I used to get super angry in fighting games, I used to scream and even cry once or twice. I never react to that extent anymore, but I’m not really sure what I started to do differently. You could try taking frequent breaks if you still want to play but get angry. A lot of the time, I would switch to a fun/easy single player game to put stuff back into perspective, like De Blob or pretty much any Kirby game.

It is not bad to lose. It gets bad when people do the down down salty command. There should be a respect command.

My advice? You sound like you wanna be good at this game, so this is the advice of someone that is not good at KI at all.

Channel that anger. Learn from each loss. Give it time.

Case in point? I exclusively play Kim Wu. Have lost a TON of games. Just found out that two matches i played are out on YouTube (@SonicDolphin117 ) and Twitch (@CrazyLCD ) where i play absolutely horribly. Nothing against the players. All me. So i rewatched the games and work on getting better at the things i was lit up on. It wont happen overnight. Anything worth struggling for is gonna be hard.

A good step for you to take is to start thinking about the game in a new way.

Right now you probably think like this:

Step 1. "I want to win"
Step 2. “If i win, i am happy. If I loose, I suck.”

But you need to add in a couple of things. Think about this:

  • When you win, are you learning anything?
  • When you lose, are you learning anything?

Truth is, when you win, you DONT learn anything. You cant. You cant learn from a win because everything you tried worked. You didnt get a chance to find things about yourself that you can improve.

So, you need to accept that LOSING is the only way to LEARN.

When you lose, you have 2 options.

  1. Get mad, and learn nothing
  2. Go back and watch the replay, and learn as much as you POSSIBLY can from that match.

The only way to win… is to learn why you loose.

If you lose a match, then you go into “practice mode” and fix the mistakes you made, then you REALLY are winning.

“Skill” in fighting games is really… “Learning more form each loss than your opponent.”

If you make sure that you learn from EVERY loss, you will get better FASTER than the people who lose and just get mad.

You have this entire website full of people to help you. Maybe making some more friends will help keep you stay calm while you play.


Oh, you were the Kim I fought in the mirror? GGs!

I’d give you some advice but this isn’t the place for it.

If people think they are better than you, berate or belittle you when playing this game, their opinions are probably not worth listening to in any case, people forget that this is a game and the only reason any of us should be here, is to have fun.

This shouldn’t impact the rest of your day to day life in any way, it shouldn’t harm your psyche losing.

For example, some guy got on the mic earlier during an exhibition set, he’d won one and I’d pulled one back and says "you ain’t ■■■■, you know that " I reply “well ok, whatever, it’s just a game " later he told me I " couldn’t link combos” (whatever that means) but ultimately he didn’t get another win out of 4 games.

The moral of the story is that getting angry gets you nowhere, you don’t learn from it, it gets you all worked up and not in the right frame of mind to concentrate, to learn, nor to do better next game.

Please, don’t hurt yourself and miss meals for the sake of a game, it’s really, really not worth it, there will be always be plenty of games but there’s only you who can look after yourself.

Please post back in this thread, I would like to see how you’re doing. =)

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That’s natural, friend. Well not so much self-inflicted pain but the agony of loss. You are competitive and it’s a natural side effect.

If I know I’m flustered, I just play a little single player and avoid online or contact from others. Sometimes training can also help or just taking a break from gaming all together.

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Woh bro, I think you need to revaluate the reason you play games. That kind of attitude is very toxic, and playing against someone like that makes it not fun and makes me NOT wanna ever lose to you. Winning “Now” is often a short-term goal, you should be looking at the long-term. If you feel you’re not very good, then even winning a match is too high of a goal. Instead of allowing the game to evaluate your progress (win/loss count), aim for the personal “Win”. Go to training mode and pratice execution/combos/set-ups. Once you have them down, go online and do you best to incorperate it into your game. Who cares if you win or lose. You personal “Win” should be how effectivively new tech was executed. When you lose, understand why you took the loss and make no excuses.

If you find practicing boring and tedious and look only to win, you should not play. Save yourself from the “salt”.

Absolutely positively FALSE. You CAN learn from winning, just not as much. For example, let’s say I play 2 characters - while using 1, my opponent picks the other by chance, and does something I didn’t know you could do with that character, but I still win the fight anyways. See what I mean?

What an amazingly specific scenario!

Thanks for mentioning that, it really added a whole lot to the thread!


As specific as it is, that’s just 1 example. The same can be applied to regular mechanics as well numerous other things.