I’ve had the best luck with a Xbox Elite controller. It still broke eventually, but it took quite some time. It wasn’t a D-pad that failed though, it was a bumper, and it was because my youngest son dropped it a couple of times, so it wasn’t from wear & tear.
I went through several regular XB1 controllers before the elite. I don’t know if they’ve changed the d-pad under the hood on the bluetooth-capable XB1s, but on the original design the underside of the d-pad has little nubs jutting off of each direction, and they press a metal bubble switch…eventually the nubs wear down and it makes hitting downward diagonal inputs near impossible.
If you want real good durability though I’d probably say a fightstick would be the best way to go though, because they are easy to replace parts on…if a direction on the stick goes bad, just swap out the switch for another one.